Monday, 3 November 2014

No Magazine

Hello again dear readers. Where has the year gone,
I once again I apologise for not posting much of late (seems like I am always apologising lately). I have been very busy writing and publishing a new book called, It's a Cat's Life you can read about it and see a preview of the book here

I would like to post an article I wrote back in 2012, for a site called Zujava. I have recently parted company with Zujava, for reasons which I will not bore you with. I think it is a much better idea to have my content on my own site. I am sure you will agree.

No Magazine is my parody "homage" to the celebrity magazine.

 No Magazine

Welcome to the first ever issue of NO? Magazine. This is a online preview of our Z list celebrity magazine.

In this issue we have an exclusive interview with Patchy Meow, as she celebrates her 2nd birthday at home. We cover the Open of the Envelope Awards ceremony. Who are the winners? We had the opportunity to chat with Angelina Jolie. Take a look at what she had to say to our NO? reporter. Take part in our First Issue give away. Our very own fashionista Isla White will be introducing herself.

In the full issue of No? Magazine; available from no good stores, read our extra exclusive interviews. Madonna’s cleaning lady dishes the dirt. We will be chatting to the competitors of TV’s latest reality programme, Celebrity Dominos and Isla White will be giving you some style advice on what to wear this season.

Read all this and more in issue 1 of the newest and best celebrity magazine. Say Yes to No? Magazine. The first for No news.

The Editor

Five months ago nobody had even heard of Patchy Meow. People were asking “Who is she?” But now she has started to make a name for herself as a writer. We had an exclusive interview with Patchy on her 2nd Birthday at her family home.

So, Patchy why did you decided to become a writer?

I was sitting one day in my solitary musings wondering whether humans really know what being a cat is all about. I thought to myself why not write about it.

Is that when you decided to write your first book?

I started a blog called the Five Cats Chronicles, now called Catnip Corner. Then I wrote my first book, The Little Book of Cats.

I heard you like to Tweet?

No, it is only birds that tweet. Oh! Hang on you mean Twitter, yes I like to tweet to my Twitter followers and have made many friends there. I also have my own page on Facebook and have made lots of friends there too.

Will you be eating your birthday cake Patchy?

It is a very nice birthday cake, thank you for bring it for me. But I am afraid cats can’t eat caked. We cannot taste anything sweet.

So you can’t have your cat and eat it.

Meow, that is very true.

I heard a rumour you have a boyfriend, is this true?

No it is not true, I am young free and single. I prefer it that way.

Are there any cat fights amongst you and your siblings?
No we don’t have cat fights, although we do have our squabbles.

You can read the rest of the interview in the full issue of NO? Magazine.

The Opening of the Envelope Awards

Awards Summary

The cleaning lady.
Angelina Jolie
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The night proved to be a big success. The awards took place at the Comedy Store in London, and was presented by Mickey Mouse. Unfortunately there are only a few photos of the evening’s event. Our photographer left his lens cap on during the ceremony. He did however managed to get a picture of the cleaning lady cleaning up after the awards ended. She wasn't very happy. After we were treated to a take away and a taxi home. 

Interview with Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie?

At the Opening of the Envelope Awards we chatted with Angelina Jolie or rather Angelina Jolie’s number one fan Angelina Jolie .

You are Angelina Jolie’s number one fan, is this correct?

Yes I absolutely adore Angelina. I even run a fan club for her.

How many fans are in the fan club?


Only One!

Yes it is just me, I couldn’t bear to part with her autographed pictures, so I kept them all to myself. I have a scrap book full of all her newspaper and magazine clippings .

How do you have same name as your favourite actress?

I love Angelina so much I had my name changed by deed poll. It does cause some confusion when I ring for a taxi or a take away. They think it is a hoax call.

Does Angelina know about you changing your name?

No, although I did send a letter to her agent. But I never heard anything, so I suppose she is OK with it.

Why are you wearing sunglasses at night time?

I don’t want anyone to recognise me.

Have you ever met Angelina Jolie?

Yes I met her at a film premiere. She was very nice.

Did you speak with her?

Yes I did, I was so thrilled.

What did she say to you?

She said, “ Leave me alone or I will call security.”

Did you speak to her today?

Errr no I was late getting here, although I did briefly see her on the red carpet. I even managed to cut a bit off the end of the carpet as a memento.

Thank you for a most interesting interview Angelina.

Fashion Spotlight

Sponsored By

Isla White

Meet Isla White she is our NO? Magazine fashionista and fashion editor. She spent a number of years working for the high street clothing store Nomark. Unfortunately she was fired after swopping the sizes of the bikini tops and bottoms. She called it a fashion statement, they called it sabotage. 

Nomark's loss is our gain. You can read Isla's suggestions for this season in the full issue of NO? Magazine. 

NO? Magazine Give Away

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Something for all you Twihard fans to sink your teeth into. NO? Magazine is celebrating its first edition with an original, not available in any store, exclusive. 

You have read the books, watched the film, bought the T Shirt, poster (see left) and bought the merchandise. 

We are giving away 25 boxes of our custom made Twilight Tissues. This giveaway is not to be sneezed at. Wipe your eyes with Edward, blow your nose on Bella. Take them with you to bed, to the bathroom or out wherever you go, the tissues, not Edward and Bella.  The tissues are printed with the Twilight logo and names of the Twilight characters. (not shown in picture)

Enter today. Call our premium rate give away hot line at 0808 000 000 000 and answer our easy question and you will be entered into the give away.


 No?Magazine's Advert

Issue 2 of NO? Magazine


Coming up in issue 2 of NO? Magazine:

World first, The Secret World of  London’s Hoppers. They tried to hide their secret but we found them out. In our next issue we blow the lid on the secret hoppers and reveal the secret identities on London’s most famous secret hoppers. “Once you hop, you can’t stop.”
If you like the Annoying Orange, you are going to love Alien Lemon, find out more in issue 2.
We interview the star of the popular TV series  The Secret Diary of a Chambermaid. She will be telling why it is time for a clean sweep. 

Say Yes to NO? Magazine, the first for No news.  

Image Credits

The Comedy Store - By John-Paul Stephenson (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
 Flock of Sheep by Petr Kratochvil 
 Harpers Bazar - Public Domain image
Pretty Girls by April Sommers
Twilight Logo - By Scarce (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Big Ben - By Adrian Pingstone, squared by Juan Pablo Arancibia Medina ((original)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Maid Image-Spring Cleaning by Petr Kratochvil 
Headache courtesy of
All other images ©P.Christou